I KNOW THAT YOU ALL LOVE ME AND THAT ITS HARD TO UNDERSTAND: I LOVE YOU ALL BUT I ALSO LOVE MY FIGHTS AND MYSELF …..

I will never throw away my life again that it is not worth anything. I have accepted my situation and I’m not going to let others push me to lose everything.

No medicine in the world will get you to understand me is words that I want to throw back when people don’t understand me. I have fought so much and so long to get to where I am today. I have, during the course of the journey failure more than you can count. More than you will ever understand. I have on many occasions had the will to end my life because I have felt so useless. Have always known that other people do everything and I can do nothing. I have cut my arms and legs. I have visible scars all over my body after razor blade. I have been on very strong medications for many years. I have been fighting with myself and my demons for a very long time. I have always had the will to never give up and that is why I am here today. For that I have the driving force to maintain everything that I have fought for. I have finally found my inner peace which I never thought was possible. 

The sad thing is that there are many people who want me to just throw away everything that I have fought for all these years. People who do not see the seriousness of it all. As all the time presses me, and I shall take steps to the directions that may do that I lose everything. Life is full of challenges and many are from ourselves, however, comes from other people.

Today I am a mother and I get my day to day life to go around. Compare with how it has been before. How I was as a person 20 years ago ?

I will not go in to I have been pressured again to all the time seek what other people think I should do. It will never be good enough and the press will never run out. On the other hand, is not going to leave what I have achieved in my journey just because other people do not understand.

Seriously, so why should it not suffice that I have a functioning everyday life?

I feel good today. I have found my way to survive.

So before you push me to reflect a little on who it really is, and think intelligently here ?

So now, finally, we’ve also come away and acted new food for our new refrigerator and to the freezer. Today we take it easy and I have much to arrange here at home now when we’ve been away. So I take a little at a time. It will take a while until I feel that I have received the order of everything. I tend not to be so social right at these times and then it is good that those who know me know about it. I will be a bit like a hermit crab and maverick.

It is that I focus on what I want to have order on and that the other parts of me may take up more space. It feels like everything goes slowly for I am a little tired, however, so it does nothing. I do everything at my own pace. 

Now I will soon take and continue on one of the series that I follow on the computer. First, there will be some other things to do  😛 

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

When I’ve been away on an adventure this summer, so I had filled up the freezer before I went away. It was that there would be food when we got home to avoid having to go shopping directly at homecoming. It is also a financial thought behind this. It was not quite as I had envisioned, but my fridge and freezer broke when we were not home. Luckily, some familiar to us and discover that it was broken so they could throw all the food.There has been a lot to arrange as it always is when I come home again. Now we also have some strong men helped me to carry my new fridge. The new refrigerator weighed much more than my old one  😀 

So I’ll write down what we need to shop. Then I feel that I almost have landed as I want to after this summer’s adventures  😛 

Now I’m very focused on taking me back to the reality here so that the days become more and more alike each other. Only to get home and get to sleep in my own bed and be able to play music and to sing does so much for my well-being. I have the big nice and cozy when we are on the adventure, however, do I need to return to everyday life where, I feel, in spite of everything the best. I require not so much in everyday life and feel the best of my routines here at home.

You who know me in depth knows that I need to get to have my peace and quiet then I act as the best. I have a good balance of everything now which feels amazing.

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

Lovely with even a gourmet seafood dinner. It is so amazing food. Last night it was a seafood party. My son has just turned 10 years now in the days so he celebrated a little extra this time he turned even. He has also he shellfish gene hihi  😛 . Nice company with my son, and our finest friend. 

I’ll land a bit from all that has been now in the summer. Soon it is time for me to continue with my music. It will be fun and interesting.

There are many people along the way who try to quench my ardor, and they make it only stronger. There are few people that I trust right now. A part stabs me in the back quite heavily. Everyone does it in their own way and I’m just tired and disappointed today. I run on as usual and it’s probably what bothers some people. However, I can not expect everyone to understand me either. Often, they try to make their own mistakes invisible by letting me be the black sheep and the scapegoat that everyone throws shit at little how it fits.

You know, when it doesn’t matter what you do nothing is good enough. What I will always hold on to is that regardless of the speculation and dramaqueens so I will always do what is best for me. It is easy to be hateful when it feels like it never is good enough. Never forget that it is your path and that it is you who can decide over it. I know what is best for me.

So thanks to all of you that I can rely on you guys are the best !

Take Care Of Each Other 

Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

Today it is a little rainy which is good for it is really needed the rain. So it will be to drink coffee indoors. It’s still extremely hot out and in the air. I have nothing against being inside any day on which the change of pace.